Kids Say the Darndest Things and Parents Do Too

Here is a collection of some funny things my students have said over the years.

"My Grandma's really sick. But she's not dead yet. That makes me sad."

Me: What does your mom look like?
Boy: She's tall and has spiky legs!

While being held by her mom... "My mom likes to do the robot dance at home" Her mom was not too happy.

The other day I hid from one of the kids while they were in the bathroom. He came out and said "Mrs. Jennifer? Mrs. Jennnnifer? .... She's gone!"

We made Valentine cards the other day and the kids got to pick who the Valentine was for and what it said. Most kids made it for their mom and said something like I love you. This little girl made hers for her dog...
"Dear Leila, come over her and lick my p*nis." .... Gross.

Girl #1: You can come to my party and you can come to my party and so can you...
Girl #2: Can I come to your party?
Girl #1: No, you poop in your pants.

Me: Who are you going to marry?
Girl: My Daddy.
Me: But what about your mommy?
Girl: She'll leave.
Me: I don't think she will want to do that!
Girl: Well, I will kick her in the face and put her in the trash can.

One of the parents in my class is really dramatic and she has said a few funny things lately:

Mom: "Don't put your hands in your mouth! That puts germs in your mouth. Germs are like tiny bugs, so right now you have MILLIONS of tiny bugs crawling in your mouth and all over your tongue!"

Mom: "Don't stand on that table! If you fall you'll break your arm! You will have to go to the hospital and they will have to put a screw in your arm!"
Boy: "Like a needle?"
Mom: "No, a BIG FAT SCREW! They'll put it in your arm and they won't give you any medicine to make you feel better!"

Haha you just never know what they might say....